#2 – or Sh*t Happens

Posted on December 12, 2009. Filed under: addiction, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , |

Essentially, at the beginning and end of life – and even in between, it all boils down to . . .  well, love, of course – – – but also . . . bowel movements . . . whether you have them or you don’t, when and where you have them, whether they’re too hard or too soft, etc.  My 2 ½ year old grandson is recently potty trained.  One day, he just decided to do it himself.  It didn’t drag on and on – and was fairly ‘easy’.  It was a really big deal.  One day a month or two ago, he and I were playing in the park and he said in his sweet little voice, “MorMor – do I have a diapewh on?”  I said, “No.  Do you have to go potty?”  He nodded, and off we went to the woods.  WOW!  This has been such a major milestone.  My 92 yo mother just had her 2nd surgery in 18 months for another small bowel obstruction.  Getting her back in to a ‘regular’ routine has been a project – and, a big deal.  And now that things are back to ‘normal’, she/we are so grateful.  The last year or two of my dad’s life, his main focus became his bowel movements.  As a physician, he was so very aware of their importance and the implications of his constipation.  He even kept a chart – date, time, amount, consistency.  I would roll my eyes and show some impatience.  But, I had taken my own ‘regular’ bowel habits for granted.  And, my heroin addict daughter went to the ER last July with severe abdominal pain.  After multiple GI tests, the diagnosis was ‘constipation’ – due, of course, to her opiates use.  The ER bill for this, plus stool softeners, was $950.  Unfortunately, you and I are paying that bill, not my daughter.

So – – – whether it’s hard or easy, regular or irregular, painful or smooth – – – sh*t happens.  It ‘binds’ us (pardon the pun) in a powerful, way and gets us right back to basics.  It’s humbling, universal, and yes, a metaphor for so much more.


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One Response to “#2 – or Sh*t Happens”

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$**t does happen, over and over when you have an addict in the family. Of course, other stuff does happen which revolves around your other kids. My biggest mistake was minimizing the stuff that happened to the other kids and maximizing my responses to the addict’s drama.

It took me years to quit, and I STILL relapse occasionally.

Now, I try to not be involved in the always ongoing drama surrounding my addict. Even though she is (allegedly) well maintained on MMT (methadone maintenance therapy) she still has the ‘junkie mentality’ and practices the new religion of ‘victimology’ in which nothing is EVER her fault.

I try to separate myself from that drama. It’s not always easy, there is yet ANOTHER innocent granddaughter involved.

so now, when idiot gets her electricity shut off in the winter and needs a place to stay for three days (its ALWAYS on a friday…)

I have to let them come over and spend three days with us so the baby doesn’t freeze.

Enabling? Yeppers. But is is my granddaughter who would suffer the consequences of her mother’s inability to deal with reality, and the mother won’t just drop the baby off to me (she knows she wouldn’t get her back), so I have to p ut up with the idiot being in my home for 3 days. And listen to everything that is wrong with her life that she is not responsible for LOL.

some days, I just want to say


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