She is so alone . . .

Posted on September 22, 2009. Filed under: addiction, Parent of an Addict | Tags: , , |

My daughter must be so lonely.  She feels she can’t call any family members and has few, if any, friends left.  She definitely suffers from the shame and stigma of her drug addiction.  She won’t tell us where she is living – is afraid we’ll call the police and have her arrested.  (A warrant for her arrest has been issued due to her violating her probation.)  She’s a prisoner – can’t go out in public, for fear she’ll run in to someone she knows.  What does she do all day?  What does she think about?  Is there any joy at all in her life?

She has lost everything – her apartment, dogs, furniture, car, job, relationships, friends, and family.  The looming question, of course, is:  How does she pay for her drugs and support herself?  I can barely fathom the logical answer – it’s a knife in my heart.

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2 Responses to “She is so alone . . .”

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My heart hurts for you, because your heart hurts for her. Unfortunately, from what I’ve learned from my son, is that in the midst of an active addiction, the addict is not thinking about the normal things in life. All they are consumed with is the next fix. Maybe, in a way, this becomes a defense mechanism for their brains and their hearts not to be lonely, not to miss friends and family and not to acknowledge all that they have lost by their actions. This is the way he expressed it to me. Maybe that is just his perception. I am keeping you in my heart and my prayers.

I never thought I’d say this, but jail was a saving grace for my son. It forced him into withdrawal and then he was able to go to rehab. I know your daughter’s situation is different. But it all just shows how much life changes once drugs enter. From what I understand, the addict doesn’t see themselves the way we see them. They don’t know how they are because their lower brain is running the show (rather than the higher-thinking areas).

Thinking of you. Hang in there. I hope you find some beauty in your life today.


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